Friday🔥07: Exploiting Troughs
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Welcome to this week's edition of Friday Fire, an end of week newsletter recapping notable insights and inspirations from the past week. This week I'm unpacking two strategies I've found helpful when navigating the troughs in life.
P.S. - for those of you who invested after reading the Weedmaps write-up, check the trading update at the bottom of the post for a little dopamine boost.
Let's jump in!
Don't Let a "Good Trough" Go To Waste
Anyone have a rough past week?...Show of virtual hands?
I refer to these rough weeks as "Troughs", a downward dip in my emotional, mental and/or physical experience. Just so there is no confusion, I'm not talking about where you put the horse feed, I'm talking about this:
We all experience troughs, some people more than others. Its driven by any number of different sources (work deadlines, family stress, poor diet) and can rear its head in ugly ways (apathy, poor sleep, burn-out, low energy).
Last week I was for sure in a trough! Did you notice there was no Friday Fire last week? Of course you did, cause you're a dedicated member of the community! ;)
There were a variety of catalysts for my trough last week, but the crux of my descent hinged on a few factors:
- Increased workload at the office
- Disruption in my cleaning business
- Stress from an ongoing recruiting processes
Now, like a normal human being, when I have a hard week, I typically dive headfirst into the weekend. There is nothing quite like the feeling of temporary bliss which comes from completely ignoring a trough... am I right?
"Ignore the discomfort and everything is gonna be alright"
Not so fast...
These troughs, while unpleasant, are priceless in what they offer us. They offer us a lens to better understand the habits/traits/tendencies which aren't serving us. In periods where I've increased curiosity around my troughs - those periods have generally delivered a greater sense of peace, while also lowering my time spent living in a trough state.
In the rest of this post I'm going to outline the two tools I've found helpful in maximizing my troughs. I have no idea where this post will land with people, but if it helps at least one person who is on the struggle bus today, then my ramblings will have been worthwhile :)
1) Disorder / Reorder
The more I pay attention to my troughs, the more I realize they can be boiled down to one feeling, Disorder. Disorder arises when we lack the control required to live life on our terms. For me, disorder catalysts come in many forms: slipping deadlines at work, not taking care of my health, under-investing in relationships, etc.
These catalysts activate feelings of disorder, which if gone unchecked, will re-train my attention on all that is 'going wrong'.
You know the feeling, its something like this:
The framework of seeing our troughs as merely a function of our internal disorder is so important because it simplifies an existential threat into a manageable one.
When we are deep in a trough, are we more likely to dramatically re-evaluate our life? ...Survey says...Yes! Extended troughs can make it seem like the sky is falling and trigger abrupt changes in jobs, relationships, beliefs, physiques, etc.
I say this to emphasize the following point - when I see a trough as just a byproduct of disorder, I am equipping myself to take a more measured and constructive response to the discomfort I'm experiencing.
So the question becomes - how do we short circuit the discomfort and disorder?
I use a painfully simple, but highly potent question:
In order to get out of the hole, I have to stop digging. In order to stop digging, I have to re-train my focus on what can go right (order) and break my pre-occupation on all that is going wrong (disorder).
For me, pursuing "order" can take different forms, but to help make this more substantive, below is a list of "re-ordering" tasks I've used in my recent troughs:
- Sending an email to my boss asking for an project extension
- Unloading the dishwasher (this was all I could muster at one point, haha)
- Organizing my desk
- Responding to ~10 outstanding emails
The point here is that these tasks are intentionally small - but even a small action can powerfully reverse the inertia I experience in a trough. Magnitude doesn't matter, direction does.
2) Broken Commitment Analysis
Another observation I've had when thinking through troughs is that they can often be catalyzed by inaction around vision, goals or habits.
To get out of a trough and back on the path towards a desired result, I use a tool called the Broken Commitment Analysis (BCA).
BCA is a prompt of 8 questions designed to help explore why we don't always do the tasks we set out to do.
I often find that in a trough, my life is littered with things that I wish I were doing, but am not doing for one reason or another. Part of growing from the trough is learning more about that fundamental disconnect.
I find that the BCA helps me to flush out excuses, acknowledge my choices, create feedback loops and re-connect with the vision/goal/habit.
Below are the 8 questions which comprise the BCA in bold. I've also written sample answers (in brackets) to give you a sense for how I use it. The example used below is from when I skipped my writing habit last week.
8-Step BCA
- What was the broken commitment? (Ryan writing his weekly newsletter)
- What was more important than keeping the broken commitment? (Interview prep, snoozing my morning alarm, watching TV after work, catching up on work for my Cleaning Business)
- Is it possible to have done both - the commitment and excuses above? (Hint: The answer to this question is "yes" 95% of the time for anyone answering honestly)
- What of My Four Survival needs powered my excuse above? [Look Good, Feel Good, Be Right, Be in Control] (I was driven by my need to "feel good" this week. The newness for me around writing continues to stir a sense of discomfort which made the task of writing feel overwhelming amidst all the other distractions last week. I prioritized "feeling good" over embracing that discomfort.)
- Is it a pattern? - No, not yet, but its important for me to keep an eye on how I manage my commitment to writing amidst my change in workload.
- What is the cost of this broken commitment? (Less momentum in my writing, slower audience growth, missed opportunity for skill development, lowered trust with existing audience, guilt/frustration)
- What is the vision connected to this commitment? (To build an audience of 5k readers)
- What's Next - i.e., re-commit, design new approach, abandon, etc. (I may benefit from designing a new approach here. I would like to experiment with maintaining a content calendar so I don't buckle under the pressure of having to generate "new" blog ideas each and every week)
I hope that everyone reading this is operating at a peak today.
If you're not, consider experimenting with one of the tools discussed above, and see if they help provide a nudge in the right direction.
We can't always avoid the troughs in life, but we can move through them with intention and speed.
Hope you have a peak week ahead!
Gratitude
Gratitude helps cultivate a sense of joy and appreciation along the way, and need not be reserved for the big or elaborate happenings in life.
This week I'm grateful for grace in my life. Not needing to have all the answers is a pretty amazing thing.
What are you grateful for this week?
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Until Next Week,
Ryan ✌️